Negative self-talk happens to all of us. Thoughts like, “This is hard, and I can’t do this,” can sneak in and stop us in our tracks. But what if there’s a better way to respond?

When faced with challenges, we often turn to motivation. Motivation says, “No, it’s not hard. Just imagine it’s easy, and you’ll get through it!” While well-meaning, this approach denies reality, and the inspiration fades as soon as reality sets back in. It’s like trying to fight fire with wishes.

The Power of Influence

Instead of motivation, consider influence—an approach that acknowledges reality while focusing on personal growth. When faced with “This is hard,” influence responds, “…but I’m strong and capable.” It accepts the difficulty while reminding you of your inner resilience. Similarly, to “I can’t do this,” influence answers, “…yet.” This simple shift acknowledges two truths: you can’t do it now, but you’re capable of learning and improving.

Why Influence Works

Unlike motivation, which aims to change your mood, influence speaks to your identity. While moods are fleeting, your identity has a lasting impact on your behavior. Words like “but,” “yet,” and “and” can reshape your mindset, helping you move forward with confidence.

Focus on What You Can Control

The goal isn’t to change the situation but to change your response. Challenges will come, but with the right tools, you can face them with strength and purpose. So the next time self-doubt creeps in, try these magic words and watch how they transform your perspective.